A Four Letter Word for what Makes Winter what it is

I heard a lady in the grocery store saying how much she had enjoyed this winter because of the small amount of snow we'd had and how much she would enjoy herself if we didnt get anymore. I felt bad for her.

Upon waking up today and looking out the dining room, the tops of the bushes were tufted with snow; yesterday what could be seen as dead grass and sticks with patches of slushy stuff was now a glorious, however many inches thick layer making the ground sparkling and bright.

The freshness of newly fallen snow is thoroughly enjoyable to me.

Winter without snow is like spring without crocuses, summer without sunshine. Snow is what makes winter go round. Not even considering all the activities it makes possible or more pleasant, it takes dreary, confined days (like yesterday) and makes them, well, white, bright, fresh and clean... sorta like detergent is supposed to do to laundry. Snow takes barren tree branches and crowns them, highlights them. The white fluffy stuff makes the whole area wherein it rests one big marshmallow-sweet land. If you take into account the marshmallows and the trees you might even say that the outdoors becomes one big fluffernutter. I know some people who would enjoy that analogy immensely. If you're not one of them, I apologize.

And so this morning- despite school looming over me and my having to fight spurts desiring to utterly forget about it all and just go do something else somewhere else, I am here at the table praying that God might increase and I might decrease... all the while enjoying the snow and hoping we see plenty more of it before spring blooms.

Not the Morning I was Hoping for

DISCLAIMER: I didnt realize that this post could very well be taken wrongly, and I apologize for not specifying why these lyrics were posted. This morning I was disappointed over seeing test scores and generally depressed about recent schoolwork. After reading my scores which I'd waited a few weeks for, I prayed, thought and had time with the Lord. He brought the chorus of this song to mind. Now that I think, I dont know when the last time I heard this song was before today... Upon looking up the video (link posted in chorus meant as credit), I was encouraged. Yes, this song was written by a man coping with death and may very well be on the dramatic side to apply it to test scores; but the Lord cared for me through these words today. Below the picture is a quote from a situation of someone encouraging another in the context of test scores that I heard once.

Scattered words and empty thoughts
seem to pour from my heart
I've never felt so torn before
seems I don't know where to start
but it's now that I feel Your grace falls like rain
from every fingertip, washing away my pain

I still believe in Your faithfulness
I still believe in Your truth
I still believe in Your holy word
even when I don't see, I still believe

Though the questions still fog up my mind
with promises I still seem to bear
even when answers slowly unwind
it's my heart I see You prepare
but its now that I feel Your grace fall like rain
from every finger tip, washing away my pain

The only place I can go is into your arms
where I throw to you my feeble prayers
in brokeness I can see that this was your will for me
Help me to know You are near

Thanks Sarah for the thought that [by Christ alone] I'll "still win in life..."

Oldies but Goodies

Ever have one of those moments where you come across something from your past that brought you much enjoyment and good memories? Maybe family pictures or jokes, a beloved toy or book. 

I ran into one such item this past week: Steve Green's Hide 'em in Your Heart music videos. And by videos, I mean video cassettes with matching cassette tapes. I think there's still an argument as far as the durability of cassettes vs. CDs, but that's a bunny trail. I never realized the songs were pure scripture! Huzzah and hoorah to my parents for having us watch those tapes; they're good stuff. As I scrolled itunes listening to the songs, they came right back. There I sat singing scripture songs along with the high-pitched voices of seven year olds. I want to find those videos, and the tapes. The younger two need to watch them and I want to re-watch them. 

We also have the entire New & Old Testament sets of animated Bible stories from Nest Entertainment. Those were wonderful as well. I can still remember lying on my stomach next to my brother in front of the TV coloring in the books that corresponded with the videos.

It's nice to realize that you haven't outgrown the enjoyment of certain things. 

Save the Baby Humans

The last line stuck out to me oddly enough:

"D.C. police said there were no major incidents at the march."

ah. digital post it reminders. genius & even inspirational

Stood out tonight as I browsed my stickie notes:

"We are not made happy by what we acquire but what we appreciate."

Don't Worry Be Happy

Reflect joy. 

[He who scattered Israel will gather him, and will keep him as a shepherd keeps his flock. For the LORD has ransomed Jacob and has redeemed him from hands too strong for him. They shall come and sing aloud on the height of Zion, and they shall be radiant over the goodness of the LORD. - Ps. 34 

Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. -Is. 60]

HTML gone slightly haywire

The addition of an 'I like Mike' banner among others and my inability to simply add one thing without throwing the whole mess of code out of wack (unintentionally!) ...the blog's a little topsyturvy.

the regeneration magazine banner's not working due to the site not working.

When I get the chance go fool around and fix it, it shall be fixed. My apologies in the meantime ;-)

Thinking Ahead

Will be listening to the messages from this:

Hmm. make it to Maryland for this?

Growing in Discipline: Tidbits

There's a cry in my heart for Your glory to fall, for Your presence to fill up my senses.
There's a yearning again; a thirst for discipline, a hunger for things that are deeper.

Could You take me beyond?
Could You carry me through?
If I open my heart could I go there with You?
For I've been here before, but I know there's still more- Oh, Lord, I need to know You.

For what do I have if I don't have You, Jesus?
What in this life could mean any more?
You are my rock; You are my glory
You are the lifter of my head, the lifter of this head

Just finished this book. Took this one off of the shelf this one last night.

That Starfield lyric line about having a thirst for discipline, that's me right now. I've been wasting my days. I've been given the ability and responsibility to manage my schoolwork, my education! Maybe I've attempted on my own and here I am with satisfactory progress this year, moving confusing granted. ;-) I have tried, and have sought the Lord for help on different levels. Maybe I didnt do either of those completely or enough. What I know is: I have been irresponsibly and continually squandering the time in which to accomplish tasks.

first |fərst|
coming before all others in time or order; earliest; fundamental
met with or encountered before any others; foremost in position, rank, or importance
our first priority; foremost, principal, highest, greatest, paramount, top, uppermost, prime, chief, leading, main, major; overriding, predominant, prevailing, central, core, dominant;

Yesterday I was discouraged. Last and this week I've been trying to wake up earlier- a hard thing. I want to even say tortorous some days. How the morning plays out can have such an effect on the rest of the day. Bad morning, not so much work gets done before lunch, school has to go until dinner or after oh, and ya, I probably never changed out of my pajamas or touched my hair.

On a positive note, today has been a day of small victories. I woke up and started school by 8:30. It's 2pm and I've finished all but half of an argumentation lecture and history reading, oooh, maybe I need to do some essay prep too. The source of praise, whether I have a bad or a good day, is that God is giving me to grace to have transcendent joy.. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God..." has continually been on the brain since the reference to it in a friendship message at YPCG awhile back and due to reading the above linked Mark Pearce book, which was a fabulous read by the way. First. It's highly probably that devotions was not the first thing I did upon waking up. Yes, devotions are wonderful; meeting God and experiencing his Word is irreplacable and we should thirst for it. However, I am growing in consciously keeping Christ first in my heart and mind throughout the day (whether I was able to begin it in such a fashion or not).

“Nothing can be more hurtful to the service, than the neglect of discipline; for that discipline, more than numbers, gives one army the superiority over another”
-George Washington

Questioning the Worth of these Past Words

Why do I write this blog?
What do I have to say that is truly of worth?



I have a post on New Years in draft (seems like lately for every post I publish there's been one waiting), but only the links to other blogs that I took something away from reading are worth publishing.

Looking through the post archive, I realized I've posted some boring and badly written stuff over the past year. Yet a few posts stuck out as truly valuable. I would rather publish less and have the posts be worthy of whatever time spent writing and reading then publish much of little admiration. Simple thought, but important.

You'll hear from me when I come up with something of meaning to post... whether my own thoughts of those of others which have affected my own in one way or another.

When I've accomplished something, then I'll talk about it, but not before. Words without action are useless, dead. All the talk in the world about the finished product, position, goal, assignment doesn't get you one inch closer to having accomplished it or up and over the hurdle. Even worse, you dont get any closer to the next hurdle in line; you stay consumed with the one you're facing until you shut your mouth and do something.

I'm not about to connect the original question of why I blog (which I never intended to answer in this post anyway) with the above paragraph, but it was on my mind, as is now the thought of my soft pillow.

After reading about dusting off resolutions, I wanted to do some myself, having honestly never thought to look back at what I'd said the year before (always looking ahead, ya know?). But then I was reminded that my journals are among the items yet to be found since moving. New Years processes slowly for me; I never transition before hand or at midnight.

Here is another great post on resolutions, New Years or not.

New Years Eve we had a party. It dimmed down at 10 or 11 o'clock, but a great handful of folks stuck around until after midnight. Dad made a fire in the basement. Pool games were going while the hi-fi played The Beatles and Nat King Cole.

"This year has been filled and brought alot of change for you," he said. "Ya, it has..." Into my mind rushed little moments, big events, faces of friends present and past. "So much of this year centered around church." Sitting on the couch, we verbally composed a list of some things from the past year- back and forth, each adding one thing followed by another. Nothing fancy-

Cabin Fever weekend I learned unity and teamwork; experienced deep joy in friendship and in the Lord, and had fun. the white rocks.

On new member's Sunday, I stood next to my family and together with the other new members in front of individuals, those who have become a church family over the past year. I can still see everyone on their feet, clapping with smiles on their faces. I cried standing there. Our family was right where God wanted us; I was where I was supposed to be.

Somewhere there was Exploring Christianity. I grew in Bible doctrine, studying it at home separately and then being able to connect and discuss it. Yummy food, lots of homeschool jokes and hot sauce.

June was youth camp. wow. I think that's the reaction I have most anytime I talk about it. The can't believe I actually went, unforgettable youth camp. A. Cal. talking about how he saw a cloud of mist over the main building one of the nights sticks in my head. I love camp.

There were three church picnics- the last complete with mud sliding. oh man how much fun!

Two graduation parties.

Slept in a tent for the first time. On that trip I screamed at a frog, had mountain pies for the first iem, biked twenty miles just because I wanted to be able to say I did, was amazed on the hill.

The I-team was adopted.

We tried to go caroling but that didnt work out so great... "Can you go Christmas caroling after Christmas?"
__

I struggled with assurance of salvation this year. I remember messages that Mr. Rishel preached that spoke directly to me.

My faith and trust were tested and I was reliant on Christ alone. Moving was a hard thing. He was so kind in showing me His faithfulness in the past and providing support from family and through conversations at church. The situation may seem other than it is when you see the bigness and wonderful everything about the new house. It was never about the house for us. The situation had deeper meaning than just requiring a place to live more suited to our family or to giving bigger parties. Leaving the only home I'd known when I didnt think it was necessary we leave. I was content where I was, just as we are all content with to live in sin before Christ does a work in our hearts. Acknowledgment that God has such a greater plan, for my good and that it is Him only I should be content to rest in, had to take place and did. This house was a gift from God, one of sorrow and tears but revealing joy. It even has blue glass in the cabinets. As I say all that, I realize how much of a challenge moving was for not just me, but also my parents.

I turned sixteen. The celebration was far from the plans thought over and written down, (moving took its tole on life) but it was lovely and I felt loved through it. I smile when I think about it.

I've seen all three Bourne movies. I'm a fan.
I'm surviving APUSH, and learning much. I struggle with whether I am truly doing my best or whether I could do better. But that has come down to being a work of grace in having more discipline and concentration.

I only messed up writing the year once or twice and got on track easily. No weeks worth of papers dating incorrectly this time around...

My life has changed and will continue to. The year has changed. But my God, our God has not.

snippet caught from a radio sermon

"[In the life of a Christian] Peace is not the abscence of war. It is the presence of Christ."

...the only part I heard and that I remember...

Coming...

So I've got a few posts from over the past two weeks or still each in draft edition. Stuff has happened and I've had thoughts on it. I've typed out half to three-fourths of a post and then had to do something else or be somewhere or whatever. I dont want to travel down the road of making excuses for myself since doing so would be an utter waste of time... so in short-

There'll be posts & pictures soon =)

EDIT: see here & here & here

Just Thinking

Holidays are when people come together.

In our immediate family, yes. Outside of that however, our six lives are like opposing railroad tracks to some of our relations... as far away from each other as the east is from the west. Not particularly to each others faces, but fundamentally. We live different lifestyles, we set different standards, we have different ideals. There is however a greater source of separation, the only true difference, Christ. It is each of our responses to the cross of Christ that dictate our lives at the core and in the long run.

But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things? For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God’s word, but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ.
2 Corinthians 2

I want to be a person of sincerity towards others even when they are not toward me. I want to be a person who speaks Christ, that He would be found, both directly and invisibly, in the simplest of words I utter.

I realize more and more it is not anything I have done that turns them away from me, causes them to react strangely to a comment I've made or to my showing them the love I hold for them. I do however, have a responsibility to have an attitude that reflects the aroma of my heart, and I want both of those things to be what Christ wants them to be. My prayer right now, founded in the hope of Christ, is that the aroma I put forth through my attitude and actions would not be a stench of death, but the fragrance of life.

I dont want the differences between our lives to not be pronounced/visible or the 'great divide' have a little dinky swaying bridge placed over it to make it look pretty and function to whatever degree. I dont necessarily want everything to be comfycosy and acceptable between everyone while my soul is at peace, but theirs still are under wrath. Death and life are opposite and there is only one way to step out from under the first into the second- Christ and acceptance of the cross.

Several folks in our family have accepted Christ as their Savior by believing and accepting Him, there is just not much fruit to speak of, if any. It is for these that I pray that I would possess the fragrance of life, that the seeds in their heart would not close-up and shrivel into nothing; but that they might smell and drink of the Lord and grow stronger.

If your family is composed of Christians, be thankful for that! If not, be encouraged to not close off but keep reaching out, even in the smallest of ways Or reach out in one of the biggest ways- prayer.

CG Party

It is in trials when we doubt two things- that God is near and that He is good...
How has God been near, and how has He been good this year?

{luminaries up to the house}

I was sitting on the floor in the middle of our livingroom. We'd just finished singing six or so Christmas carols... Christmas carols, in our livingroom. I dont think I can express what that meant & means to me. "Joy to the world the Lord has come"- that is why our family celebreates Christmas to begin with! It was a vivid reminder of the centrality of the word 'joy' in Christmas for us two years ago and last year. There I was feeling warm and comforted in the sort-a-center of forty-some people who were all singing those words.

Mr. T. talked about the past year and the trials he knew we had all come across, the changes: moving, a job, health-wise, financially. There is no way to sugar-coat a trial. It's a hard thing whatever it may be. I was however so refreshed yesterday to face the smaller daily trials I have with confidence. The Lord brought me and my family through the trials of the past and there we were having a Christmas party in our house. The result of the dominant trial of this year (moving. just see the many, many blog posts) resulted last night in a house full of people, talking, a house full of laughter, food, happiness and friendship. We've had alot of people in the house thus far, most of them being carpenters, plumbers, electricians. ;-) To have those we have come to love in the house was much better!

I couldnt be more happy with my white elephant present- a bicycle tire with green light strung around it. We have a pair of size eight sparkly pink shoes needed to relocate to another home.

Noise

I am currently sitting in the attic listening to the rain gently, consistently trinkle on the roof, typing by the light of a single lightbulb with a pullchain, leaning up against garbage bags full of blankets and clothes. My apologies for the structure of that sentence. I think our Christmas presents are up here somewhere... It's pretty nice other than the fact that my hands are cold and I cant type with fuzzy gloves on. This attic is so big! Geesh. wow.

Why am I up here with an old winter coat on surrounded by the books and other things needed to write an APUSH document-based question? Why am I not sitting at my oh so homeschooler desk- the diningoom table? 1. the carpenter 2. the duct system cleaning crew's hoses and drills 3. voices- about a half dozen of them making conversation filling the gaps between the tool noises.

Happy rainy day Thursday the 13th of December.

Breakfast Extra Special

This story begins with a venture to the downstairs main family closet which contains toys, supplies for craftiness, sports gear, board games, a box of long florescent lights and a few bottles of really old wine. Outside the doorway sat two or three boxes of books that came from our living room. In need of reading material, I opened the box and rummaged. Devotional tapes, pamphlets, devotional books, encouragment books, a Jewish holiday handbook and Bible, homeschooling books. The Busy Mom's Life to Simple Living. I read it in two days and came to the conclusion that aside from one or two tidbits, I dont know why in the world we own it. There was this one tip- to take flour from its original bag and store it in a gallon milk jug. I tried it... very odd.

The book did however spur me to do something I've always planned to do: pre-make homemade pancake mix. That was Saturday. Today being Monday, there being only two eggs in the fridge and being steered away from foods I knew would trigger more migraines, I made pancakes. We had some Aunt Jemima, but after reading the ingredients list I decided to take another route.

I am plain not good at making pancakes.The first two I made stuck to the pan because I didnt have enough butter. They cooked well, but I had to do damage control by scraping and washing the pan before I could continue. The next bit of butter to go in the pan steamed and turned tan. No matter, in went the batter. I'm a poet and I know it... Anyway, when the two little rounds were bubbly I flipped them over in the pan and one ended up flopped half way over the edge of the pan, dripping uncooked batter onto the stovetop.

My mom walked into the kitchen, "oh... what are you doing?"
"I'm not very good at making pancakes."
"Everytime you make them you smoke us out!"
As a last word and recognition of the silver lining, I chimed as my mom exited the room, "They taste pretty good!"

The next two patches of batter went in and came out burnt. The next two I managed to not burn, but when I bit into the last bite of one later, it ended up containing an icky batter reservoir.

We had a man working the basement installing something or other.
He walked up the stairs, "Oh man, good thing I didnt install that smoke alarm yet."
I sat in the dining room eating my creations and chuckled at his comment. I had made pancakes from scratch. I could now proceed to scratch that act off of my life achievements list. I'm only half serious- I dont have a life achievements list that I can remember, but come to think of it... wouldnt be a bad thing to do.

In Your Eyes.

Browsing sheet music

Riches I heed not nor man's empty praise
Thou mine inheritance now and always
Thou and Thou only first in my heart
High King of heaven my treasure thou art.

High King of heaven my victory won
May I reach heaven's joys oh bright heaven's sun!
Heart of my own heart whatever befall
Still by my vision O Ruler of all.

_

Five more boxes.
Barely any snow left.
Still sick.
Books are now on the entertainment center in the basement instead of in some of the above mentioned boxes.
Looking at my ice skates in my closet and wanting to use them soon!

Oh the Weather Outside... is delightful

Well the timing on the wishing for snow post couldnt have been better.



That's the view to my left as I sit at the diningroom table doing schoolwork... the snow is gently drifting down the same way a sheet rides on the wind as it descend after you've throw it into the air. It's as if you're watching an innumerable amount of tiny feathers float and then fall, gently covering everything in the process with fluffiness.

Note the doorless but built! shed.

Wishing For Snow To Come

Today several people I talked to at lunch noted wishing that it would snow instead of the rain we currently have. I've established the habit of streaming Christmas music through itunes and when I got home this played when I turned the computer on.

These lyrics are being posted because I like hot cocoa, marshmallows, the two words pumpkin head make a great nickname in my opinion, and because I cant wait to see the twinkle of snow crystals.

It's a marshmallow world in the winter
When the snow comes to cover the ground
It's the time for play
It's a whipped cream day
I wait for it all year round.

Those are marshmallow clouds being friendly
In the arms of the evergreen trees
And the sun is red like a pumpkin head
It's shining so your nose won't freeze.

The world is your snowball, see how it grows
That's how it goes, whenever it snows,
The world is your snowball just for a song
Get out and roll it along.

In winter, it's a marshmallow world.
In winter, it's a marshmallow world.
In winter, it's a marshmallow world.

Linkage & Impromptu

one two three

Hmm. This post has no apparent direction from the getgo other than the posting of those links.

We have now put aprx. 180 empty boxes on the curb. The approximate is due to the fact that the last garbage day, the boxes were on the curb before I counted them and though I'd done it before, I wasnt in the mood to go out to the end of the driveway to count them up. I instead looked out the window and guessedimated it.


Guess which one's ours?

We are quite zealous nowadays when it comes to Christmas celebrations. Yet, we're zealous in a unique way I think.

We now have a shed in the backyard and a "new room" again. I heard one of the boys running around called the addition/transformed back porch "the new room" and it felt nice... that's what we called it at the old house. I remember a conversation with The Boss about what to call that room in the listing. Mum Dad and I looked at each other. The only thing we'd ever called it was "the back room" or "the new room"... How about, "The Great Room," he said, because it's great!

I'm counting the days until Christmas break. Attempting to come up with/resurrect some piece of something to submit to the accreditation magazine/newspaper as well.

Me Mum and the littliest guy have stuffy noses and coughs. We were warned about getting sick after moving. Here it is.

And so I believe I shall wrap up this no-purpose post having simply told of a few current events in our lives. Have a Happy Saturday December 1st... there's twenty-four days to Christmas...