Weakness

If you asked me to leap
Out of my boat on the crashing waves

If you ask me to go

Preach to a lost world that Jesus saves

I'll go, but I cannot go alone.

When I'm weak, You make me strong

When I'm blind You shine Your light on me

I'll never get by living on my own ability...

It's the power of Christ in me.

In me by Casting Crowns

A thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:8-10

Reality: We are weak people.
Reality: That is a good thing.

God uses life to reveal my weakness and call me to dependence on Him. Weakness, when embraced, leads to meeting with God's power and it being demonstrated in me.

Sermon by Mike Pierson

"For you shall go out in joy
and be led forth in peace...

Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress;
...and it shall make a name for the LORD,
an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off."

Isaiah 55

"He is not weak in dealing with you, but is powerful among you. For to be sure, He was crucified in weakness, yet He lives by God's power. Likewise, we are weak... yet by God's power we will live with Him to serve you."

2 Corinthians 13:4

First Day

Today was my first day of college. My thoughts become a whirling tornado when I make it sound official in that way. 

How would I describe the experience? Well, first off, I was nervous. I may not have admitted it should you have asked me, but I definitely was. A good friend invited me to ride the trolley in with her and walked me to my first class; I was -am still- so grateful!

At 10:00am, I sat in my math class ("Problem Solving with Creative Math"), listening to the teacher explain the syllabus. That was class; we went through the syllabus. I'm not planning to have a career which relies on an extensive knowledge of math, so I'm taking an easy course. I couldn't help feel that I'd taken a step backwards compared the work I did my senior year of high school in pre-calculus. Notwithstanding, the class fulfills the requirement and thus serves a purpose. 

During my break between classes, I spent time in the library. Writing a few longer letter emails to friends was accomplished. Afterward, I ate lunch which cost me just over $4.00: salad with all sorts of veggies piled on top. 

The day progressed with two more classes: English 101 & Sociology 101. My English professor was lively and full of laughter, yet she was serious when need be. From how things look at the moment, I'm going to like her class.  Sociology I'm not as certain about. As a field, sociology is prevalent to the job I've got my sights on, though, and this class will be a good beginning. 

Other words to describe today: tiring, liberating, surprising. 

Tomorrow I'll be headed to "Media & Society," "Biblical & Historical Perspectives," and "Strategies for Academic Success."

College is an opportunity... My earnest hope is to make the best of it, one day at a time!

To Look Back Upon

It's about time for some form of post! SO many things have happened... God has shown Himself vibrantly in the past months.

Yesterday, I became a licensed driver. The day before that, both Kevin and I had our braces taken off. It was an all day affair which included driving to Uniontown, eating chocolate covered pretzeling, watching Aristocats, coloring with colored pencils, and having lunch in a small Italian restuarant.

Community Day, our last scheduled day of fundraising for Zambia, was all day on Saturday. Though it was an exhausting ten hours, we raised $250 and did have fun in the process. A man from Ndola happened upon our table. He was stunned and honored to see a project taking place in his own town. He didn't want to leave and was eager to get involved. We exchanged information and hopefully can put him in contact with Covenant Mercies.

Last week, I officially graduated high school. The commencement, like the education of each graduate represented, was one of a kind. What a moment it was to hear my name, walk across the stage, and have my mom and dad hand me a diploma.... high school--it's the past.

Our family attended youth camp on June 21-24. I can't even begin to touch describing the pure fun of camp, what I learned, and how the Lord met me. It was monumental! Also included in the proceedings was the traditional group ice cream stop on the way home for some fabulous soft serve and ice cold water... yum!

On June 20th, my extended families came together to celebrate my graduation. LOTS of preparation went into the party the week of--cleaning, cooking, decorating, sorting photos, setting up tents, buying bubbles for the little kids. The food was delicious; all credit to my mom, grammas, and aunts. Knowing that each person at the party came to wish me the best was priceless. Years of sweet memories were represented by each person there. Having a party was a privilege, and the moments with my family were precious.

June 1st was my evaluation, the official last day of my home school education. Ten years of choosing curriculum, field trips, Little House on the Prairie unit studies, co-ops, art classes, Bible club meetings, lunch in the livingroom, and not eating lunch at all because of the workload. A smile always creaps onto my face when I think about my mom's story of how she hestitantly began homeschooling. To God be the glory!

That, my friends, is just a taste. My purpose in cataloging all this is simply to have a record to look back to. Dad and I will be boarding a plane to Zambia in five days. Adventure awaits! More importantly, we have faith that God has glorious stores of grace to pour out in diverse ways. There'll be more stories to tell and more events to catalog when we get home.

Grace: I'm Learning

"The more grace we have, the less we shall think of ourselves, for grace, like light, reveals our impurity."

- Charles Spurgeon

Amazing Grace... that saved a wretch like me...

I once was blind but now I see.

"He must increase, but I must decrease." 

- John 3:30

Sending Your Son, forever blessed

To live my life and die my death...

I broke Your law, You gave me grace

Jesus became my hiding place

Blinded by sin, I hated light

I loved the dark, my soul was night...

Almighty love arrested me

You broke my heart, drove me to grace

Jesus became my hiding place

- My Hiding Place

He lived a perfect life... the perfect life I can never live no matter how ardently I strive. Seeking perfection in daily life whilst ignoring the truth of my utter & unchangeable imperfection is a waste of time, effort, and emotion. Perfection is found solely in the Savior & His grace in my weakness is undeserved. 

undeserved |ˌəndiˈzərvd|adjective : not warranted, merited, or earned 

Just a Little Something.

I was tempted to twitter but felt awkward posting about days past... even if it was only yesterday. Twitter's such an "in the moment" type of updating. So here I find myself, home sweet blog.

Brand new rope swing + first swim of the summer + fettuccine alfredo + sharing stories + uproarious laughter = a very memorable Saturday.

In exactly one week, I will be finished with high school. WHOA. yes!
To quote my dad: "Thinking about the fact that you've actually finished... it's surreal."

Within a very close proximity of time, my brother will be graduating 8th grade & entering high school.

I know this is a super short post but it's gonna stay that way.
Thanks for reading - even if it is meager.

I sit at the computer constantly during the week and dislike doing it any more than necessary on the weekend.

=]

Check out the Zambia blog if you get a chance! www.teamzambia.wordpress.com

In the Mail

Just received my ice blue graduation gown! The yellow tassel came last week. Graduation caps - what funny looking items. I don't see myself wearing mine any longer than necessary. 

Momentous, momentous, I do believe. 

 

Perhaps I should have tweeted this lovely update. Just signed up on Twitter. Planning to at least use it during the Zambia trip if not before. This is the first mention of the Zambia trip on here.

 Yes, Reader, Dad and I are going around the world in July, to Africa. AFRICA! Why? I've asked the same question. How? I've asked that question too. Both are answered in the Lord. 

Now on to things with have their ending all too soon enough: school work. 

Too soon? Maybe not ;-]

Testimony

13:39 "Safety is not the absence of but the presence of God"

13:52 "If you do God's will...you might be sent to Africa. It might be hard; it might be scary. But...you will not be disappointed...it is the best...God's will is the best."

15:00 "There is no risk when you are in God's will."

17:51 When something needs to change, "what matters is if you have the courage to do it."

Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." ...Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.

James 4

A Little Boy & Anethesia

After the Dentist

Quote that made me laugh: "You have four eyes... I, I feel funny."
But when he said, "Why is this happening to me? Is this going to be forever?" my heart melted... poor guy!

Zambia

Whether I go or not, God has work for me to do. 

Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. 

Philippians  2

Otherwise Doomed to Futility

The interesting thing is, it's pride to think that any of our finite attempts at greatness will actually be great. We are doomed to futility, except God chooses to bring glory to Himself through our words, causing what we have made to transcend into a realm of eternal significance. Not because we are great...Not because we do a single impressive thing. But because we are empty vessels and He fills us with Himself--so that the surpassing greatness of the power would be from Him and not from ourselves.

...God is sovereign. Let's not fight Him for our futures.

Yet this isn't an excuse for apathy. I'm reminded of Jacob who wrestled with the pre-incarnate Son of God. When he discovered the identity of his opponent, Jacob then exclaimed, “I won't let You go unless You bless me!” That took guts, and God honored his initiative, blessing Jacob; but the blessing wasn't entirely what Jacob bargained for, being also blessed for the rest of his life with a dislocated hip. I think God instilled that “thorn in the flesh” as a reminder--Jacob was a finite human being who benefited from the blessing of an all-powerful, holy God...and with every labored step he took throughout his life, he could never forget the power that ultimately ruled over him.

So take the initiative. Work. But...it's God --it really, really, really is God-- who supplies results.

from Beauty from the Heart

8 + 7 = 15

1. I am not fifteen years old.
   
2. "Humble and I know that I am" is a once-loved song from my past. I now cringe at the thought.
   
3. If I could go anywhere, it might just be Morocco. And if I were there, a primary objective would be to eat an orange and drink the infamous coffee.
   
4. As of today, I've drank drinked drunk two cups of coffee in my life thus far.
   
5. 2.8 is a magic f-stop
   
6. When my mom asked me to explain to my brothers the other day how the War of 1812 started, I couldn't remember.
   
7. Ever seen those little round silver cake decorations? They're adorable.
   
8. Pineapple and blueberry are a fabulous color combination.
9. I am a unfortunately a dilettante at piano.
10. Maturity and reality have not taken a tole on me in the area of work - I still hope to have a job I like [most of the time anyway]
11. I'd like to go apple picking some time.
    
12. If in my life I could walk along a wall of Jelly Belly's and just pull the levers and eat them - wow.
13. Doing an Audrey Hepburn movie marathon would be great.
    
14. Being truly spontaneous is a rare but precious thing.
    
15. I went through a phase of loving stuffed monkeys.

why was six afraid of seven?

'cause seven eight nine. 

8 T.V. shows I watch

The Office
What Not to Wear
Gilmore Girls - the way they converse on & on & on in their own little world... I like.
American Idol - if I catch it
uhhhh oh! Ace of Cakes
just to fill in # 6 I'll say "other shows on Food Network"
annnnnndd I'm out.
so sorry. no more.

8 favorite restaurants

The Trattoria - best apple walnut salad ever... I've tasted many an apple walnut salad...
Chipotle's because we don't have one here yet & whenever I've gone there out of town it's been part of an amazing time
a certain Lebanese place
I really want to try Moroccan food...
Olive Garden or Panera are frequently called upon
Napoli's
Chick Fil A - why does listing that seem sort of sad? It's good; but it is fast food. but it's good stuff. 
Lidia's

8 Things I look forward to most in the morning

breakfast
brushing my teeth
seeing the sun shining
meeting God
getting the mail
driving home from the high school
seeing my brothers wrapped in blankets with sleepy faces and warm smiles

8 most recently viewed movies

pride and prejudice
north and south
finding nemo
cinderella
marley and me
million dollar mermaid
teacher's pet
it happened tomorrow

8 things one might find interesting or peculiar about me

i can't roll my tongue
there are over 16,000 pictures in my iphoto from a time period of two years
my favorite kind of popcorn is white kernels popped on the stove in oil
i like to mash bananas rather than eat them regularly
i like white bread if it's toasted and sprinkled with cinnamon sugar
i own a lime green nalgene bottle and think it's pretty cool
i've never gone rock climbing
i feel like this last number eight has to be really good to make a "last impression"

8 smells I love

chocolate
lilacs
my gramma's closet
the inside of my piano
fresh dirt
the christmas drink the c-family makes
starbucks stores
new paper

Two Belated Posts

The draft feature is great... it's downfall might just be however that posts sit there so long they start to make it their home instead of right here where they can be seen.

Two posts that have been making a home elsewhere until today are right below this =]

[have a whimsical wednesday]

it's coming... or maybe it's already here.

I finished my American Lit book today! It's now forward on to British. I wish I could think of some quote about marching on, Britain, troops...

I threw a baseball a few minutes ago. The boys are playing outside. 

Walking out to get the mail as become a habit; it's origin points straight to waiting for college acceptance letters. But even before that, at the old house, it was great fun to stand right inside the door, lean out and lift the lid to the metal mailbox. It was a familiar sound, a comfortable normal detail of life. Since we've moved, walking down the driveway to get the mail has served as five minutes to inhale, to step away for perspective and generally say hello to the neighboring houses and outside world. 

Today, I donned my blue Adidas sandals and worn grey sweatshirt for the venture. Old clothes are good friends. I grabbed a letter from one of the two universities I applied and am accepted. It's probably just another student-to-student letter. I laughed when I opened it standing in the kitchen; it was another acceptance letter. I laughed. It was the third or fourth acceptance letter they've sent me. I get it--you like me, I'm in, yes we can, okeydokey. 

A new hair cut has added interest to my day. I probably won't be wearing my hair in a bun so frequently. I woke up, let my hair down, and it was all over the place. Six inches disappeared with the stroke of Mom's comb and scissors. 

Have you smelled spring yet? The great February thaw occurred this week. I'm not sure that it's really all that "great," but it sounded official and annual. The sky is bright. The grass is muddy beyond muddy. I stuffed my scarf in my backpack this afternoon because I didn't need it; it was warm. A breeze races through your hair when you go out. Spring is riding on that breeze; it's coming. The lightness of nature is making me attitude light too or at least lighter.

I've gotten an atrociously small amount of schoolwork done today. As much as I see responsibilities calling in my thoughts for attention, I'm not wrapped up in the work. It is possible to enjoy something you are not consumed with. At least I would say and keeping hoping so from where I currently sit. My schoolwork is not overpowering, and I am still fighting to enjoy it. But today, there's a settled feeling that's right alongside of it all. Is this peace?

Independence

Perhaps the most significant thing you will sacrifice is the spirit of independence which is destroying women. There is no room for the independent spirit in a woman’s life: we simply cannot love a man, children, or others well if we are entangled in this popular mentality that we are the center of the universe and we should have everything our way and we should be able to accomplish everything we desire and we shouldn’t have to answer to anyone but ourselves.

If you want to be great in God’s kingdom, learn to be the servant of all.

In the world’s eyes, you will be sacrificing so much, but in God’s eyes, you will be the lifeblood of His next generation, a generation who will praise His name.

taken from Empowered Traditionalist

It makes a difference.

Changing how you say something makes all the difference even if you're still saying the same thing.

Commanding that "This is not a cartoon we watch," searching for the remote and abruptly changing to a better show brings a response of anger. Not to mention that fact that it happens to be rude.

Asking "Is this a good cartoon?" and waiting for an answer, in contrast, ends in a peaceful transition from bad to good. Instead of taking over with the force of despotism, the actions become helpful... which is the intent anyway!

For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Romans 7:15

Do not provoke [your] children to anger... Ephesians 6:4

Lit, American p. 303-10

Light-bulb moment: I am enjoying my literature this year! I have thought and spoken multiples of multiples of times, specifically this past weekend, of my yet fulfilled desire to find enjoyment in my work.

"I have come to an applicable quote everyday for some time now... Transcendentalism, Emerson, Moody, Edwards, Rockwell...I've read great American poets, short stories, excerpt, sermons. I am liking this..."

Whether or not I like it, I have to do it. Liking it makes life so much more pleasant though... Hooray!

"Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear." Isaiah 65:24

"As water cannot rise higher than its source, so the moral quality in an act can never be higher than the motive that inspires it." - A.W. Tozer

I found this quote applicable to the call to "pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America."What is the inspiration to do this remaking; how "high" is the source?

I need to get back to page 303...

#241

Post 241... it's been a lovely, lovely, day and it's only 10:21 AM. I wish I could think of a better word than "lovely."

6:13 AM wake up, realize my clock was unplugged, wonder what time it is. the little guys bumped the plug while sleeping on the futton.
7:something AM wake up for real. brush my teeth. examine the dining room table, math homework, work for the day

Then I remembered a part of this video I watched three times yesterday, hoping each time that more of it would sink into my brain... "Where is you BEST time? Your BEST energy?" 

PS. go watch the video!! =]

Getting towards 8 o'clock: impelled to do devotions.
Prayed. Read Spurgeon, January 16th Morning.

"I will help thee, saith the Lord."—Isaiah 41:14

I went to math class at approximately 8:45 AM on the impression that there was a 2-hour delay. The place was deserted. I quickly deduced that, in fact, the school was closed. I was the silly person who showed up when no one else did... good thing we live so close! It could have been embarrassing to be that person; but no one was there! No one cares! Why should I care? And no one [except all you nice readers and my family] will know about this morning. Even in the doltishness of the act, I had gained a silly trivial secret. I smiled getting back into the car.

With a stop at the bakery, I came to possess a blueberry muffin. With a stop at Giant Eagle, some orange juice. At home, oh my my my my my - the muffin was filled with blueberries in the cake; the top had a half an inch of crumbly crunch of cinnamon and sugar yum-E-ness.

The world is glistening today. The road glistens as you drive down it. Soft diamond sparkling particles of snow are escorted across the open space of our yard by the biting wind. I am so privileged to sit here watching it. To be able to say I've seen something exquisitely beautiful. That's the definition of lovely, exquisitely beautiful.

This morning was a one for photos... I wish I had taken one or two. I dedicate this post to the effort to document it all. 

God met me this morning. I can't take a photo of that; but I need to remember. Today I have to make decisions, simple, daily life decisions; but that's hard for me. He's promised to help me.

"Consider what I have done already." 

[Spurgeon from above source]

In this Moment

Not seizing an opportunity feels lousy... disappointing. 

22 Words

This blog just got added to my Google Reader. 

To describe what I read on it: novel, edifying, Biblical, thought-provoking. 

Why four words? Because that's how many I wanted to include. 

This post contains more than 22 words... 

Distraction from the Remarkable

I believe they are everywhere--remarkable signs of God's sovereignty, if we only have eyes to see them.

What if everywhere around us is an unfolding story that we cannot see, because we are too distracted by the movies, the television, the gossip and little stressers of the day? What if we are, in fact, on a grand adventure, but we cannot see the immortal view because we are too easily entrapped by more boring things?

Every day, we awaken to a far greater drama than we can imagine. We live with the reality that God died for us. We exist with a knowledge that He is currently preparing a home for us to live in with Him. Unlike so many others, we have the opportunity to delve into a personal friendship with our Maker. What could possibly be more splendid? What could possibly induce us to forget it?

authorship of Beauty from the Heart

An Atheist on Evangelism

I am subscribed to  Josh Harris's blog and watched the following video today. 

How pleased the Lord must be with His servant, the man who gave that Bible! I could not help but thinking that should the Lord open Penn's eyes one day, what he will feel when he remembers the man... how he might search out that small Bible, read it, and be forever changed.

10For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven
and do not return there but water the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
11so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it. 

Isaiah 55

Quicky

Still sick but taking stuff.
Behind in understanding math because of being sick.
However, verifying trig identities is "fun." It's like factoring in algebra, which I liked.
Just beginning to think about the fact that I have to write the ending to the story in English class... tomorrow...
Going to view senior pictures tonight finally!

Currently reading When I don't Desire God: How to Fight for Joy. Although, I've been sort of reading it since the summer... it would be more accurate to say that I picked it up again.

I got books out of the library today about Morocco! And about random things to do around the city when you can't think of anything to do.

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.
Romans 5:1-2

15 Things

1. My favorite spot in our house is the brown leather recliners in the living room. ah... relaxation!
   
2. The first time I ate black raspberry frozen yogurt was tasting some of my gramma's. I've liked it ever since.
   
3. I think orange is the happiest color.
   
4. If you haven't had the peppermint whipped cream at Starbucks, go, now and get some. Get extra. It's yummy!
   
5. I wish my hair was wavier.
   
6. I'm fairly sure I will not become a lawyer.
   
7. Glass fascinates me - earrings, bowls, windows, sculptures.
   
8. Homemade things make me happy.
   
9. I wish I had a better eye for color in buying clothes. I dislike wearing black as much as I tend to.
   
10. From the little bit of traveling I've done, it's something I really like.
    
11. Taking pictures around the house can settle me down when I'm frazzled.
    
12. Revolving doors are a novelty.
    
13. I'm sick right now.
    
14. On my twelfth birthday I received a Samantha American Girl doll, a pink cradle, some home-sewn dresses, and the small accessories for her.
    
15. Sometimes I think about how it will feel when/if I'm a grandmother, I've lived my life... and how I'll think about the years I was in high school.
    

Note: After thinking about it, I'm pretty sure it wasn't my twelfth birthday... somewhere more around my sixth or seventh.